Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
