yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
