At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
