Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
