I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
