flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
