Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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