Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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