Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
