am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
