I cockslap morals
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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