Pappa wants mamma naked
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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