But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
