After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
