i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
