I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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