Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
