Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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