I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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