I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
