Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize