I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
