would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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