Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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