i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
