I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
