How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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