You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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