It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize