found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
