I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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