is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
