Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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