So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
