I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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