I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
