Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize