I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think people are normalizing furries
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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