If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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