And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
