So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
