He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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