He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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