Well apparently he's into motor boating.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize