i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
