you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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