If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize