My liver just broke up with me...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
