I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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