I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
