Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
