Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
