Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
