I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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