seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
