why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
