Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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