wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
