Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
operation harelip BJ is a go
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize