Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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