After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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