I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
