New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
