haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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