i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
