I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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