yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
