I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize