apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
