No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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