i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
